Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
