you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
