Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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