I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
