i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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