Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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