cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
