No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
