dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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