he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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