Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
