I wanna bring you to show and tell
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
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