He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
