I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
