My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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