i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
