while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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