even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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