So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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