THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
