Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
