I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
