i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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