was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
