...so i touched it.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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