Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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