Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
