and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
