Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
