could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
