Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
