Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
