I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
