how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
