we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
