I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
