Michael Bay diarrhea
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
