Its about making memories worth repressing
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize