great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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