Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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