What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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