He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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