She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
