that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
