i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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