I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
