So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
