Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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