It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
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