I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
