Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
