I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
