Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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