Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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