When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
